Wednesday 31/10/2007, 22:11
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”
“We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.”
The first bat replies, “Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere.” He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, “Where did you get the blood?”
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, “See that black building over there?”
“Yes,” the other bat answers.
“Well,” says the first bat, “I didn’t.”
Tuesday 30/10/2007, 20:26
As time goes by and we grow older I think it is important for us all to consciously take inventory of our lives. To look in the mirror and objectively examine our character. To unwind the fabric of the psyche to see if our thought processes are based on selfish motivations and obfuscated reality, or on the firmer
foundation of faith, justice, patience and goodwill. It is a time to right wrongs and heal wounds. A time for activity and purpose. A time for resolution.
So I resolve to be a better man. A man of introspection and consideration. A man for humanity. A man whose auto-pilot is set on a steady course to enlightenment. Yes, I will change!
Man does have the ability to change! I will be progressive and free-thinking–in tune with the universe. I will listen intently to my brothers and sisters—especially the sisters, for I have not been fair to them. I promise, from this day forward, I will resist the temptation to constantly correct you. I will not spend my time finding fault with your logic. I will hear you!
I promise to listen and not just stand in front of you, mouth open and drooling, staring at your tits.
Monday 29/10/2007, 22:25
Q: What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
Sunday 28/10/2007, 22:27
Q: Why did chicken in the Jim Morrison shirt cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.
Saturday 27/10/2007, 22:53
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Friday 26/10/2007, 22:42
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
–Drew Carey