HippyCentral

Ok, I’m scared. Or post-scared. Or scared-for-what-could-have-happened. However you say it – not good. For the last week I’ve been living in a fire risk house without knowing it.

Mrs Hippy got two of her workmates husbands to do some stuff in our house. A nice shiny new bathroom (literally shiny – it’s all chrome and white), various boring bricks-and-mortar related bits, new flooring throughout, tiling in a few rooms, new doors, new skirting boards, new lights.

Now these guys work for a council, doing this kind of stuff all day. One is a tiler/bricklayer and the other a plumber. The bathroom was fine. The various floors and doors will be (when they’re finally finished). The lights – hmmm.

After the lights were fitted in the kitchen, the lights upstairs stopped working. We worked out that we could have light upstairs if the kitchen lights were off. And even weirder, if the bathroom light was on, it turned on the kitchen as well – but dimmed.

After lots of head scratching I called my friendly electrician. It’s weird, but he immediately became “Phil”. Not “the electrician” or “phil the electrician”, just “Phil”. that’s how friendly he is. Anyway, he came, scratched his head for a a bit, and decided to come back when the – er – professionals who did the job were about. That he did. After taking down the lights they’d fitted, and fiddling with the spaghetti they left, he worked out they’d wired the “Neutral” straight to the “Earth”. Serious fire risk. Neutral + Earth = NO NO NO!! Not only that, but the fuse wire had been mysteriously replaced with ordinary non-fuse wire so it didn’t blow as it should. Fuse + ordinary wire = NO NO NO!!

The only reason I’ve still got a house is ‘cos I’m lucky.

The “professionals” are back next weekend – but not touching any electrics!! I’ll let you know what happens if I survive.

Just had to post this. The image is nicked from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2005/11/30/matt.gif

Happy new year.

I suppose I better say Merry Christmas.

So,

Merry Christmas.

(pass the humbugs…..)

It’s a fact. Without any formal psychological training, I’ve develped a new psychological theorem. I’ve discovered a syndrome – Parental deafness.

Basically it works like this. Parent is stressed. Parent is hassled. Parent is at end of tether and if doesn’t get some peace soon will go bezerk with a shotgun or a variety of sharp implements.

Child wants something. Child doesn’t care that parent is desperately hiding their head in that book. Child wants. Child repeatedly asks. “Dad”, “Dad”, “Dad“, “Dad“, “DAD” –

Parent looks up and snaps – “What are you shouting at me for? What do you want?”, while deciding which kitchen tools would make the most damage with the least mess on the carpet.

Any parent will relate to that story (although they probably won’t confess to the homicidal bit), as will any child.

I reckon it’s a defence mechanism, put in place by the trauma of giving/watching birth.

I’m going to write a paper on it, and become a world famous expert in psychology.

(Rather than being famous in the world of psychology experts, as I am now).

Randomly wandering around the rather excellent http://www.quotationspage.com/ I found this quote from the late great Douglas Adams:

“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

D’you think he knew Dubya was coming? I mean, he didn’t say “elected”, he said “made”. Which is exactly what happened with Dubya!

Geek knowledge: Quote actually comes from “Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy” referring to the fact that the President of the galaxy is only a figurehead, elected to distract attention from where the real power is. The real President doesn’t even know he’s doing the job.

It looks like the Coalition to Nullify Timewasting Spam has its first collaboration – in a group that has produced the Telecrapper 2000.

A gadget designed to intercept and annoy telemarketing callers. 👿