Archive for the ‘Random Hippy’ Category.
Wednesday 24/10/2007, 22:30
A business man packing for a trip glances in his briefcase.
“Honey?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Honey,” he says, in mild exasperation, “why do you persist in putting a condom in my briefcase every time I go on a trip? You know I only have eyes for you. I’d never be unfaithful.”
“Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you,” she replies sweetly. “It’s just that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you’d be protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won’t you? For my peace of mind?”
“Oh, alright, if you put it that way,” he relented. “I’ll do it for you. But for safety’s sake, give me more than one.”
Tuesday 23/10/2007, 22:19
A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.”
“Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.”
“Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.”
Monday 22/10/2007, 22:23
“The Democratic candidates are having a debate sponsored by the senior citizens group AARP. It was just like all the other debates except the moderator asked the same questions over and over.”
— Conan O’Brien
Sunday 21/10/2007, 22:17
“The U.N has evidence of global warming. And right now they are working hard, around the clock to do nothing about it.”
–Dave Letterman
Friday 19/10/2007, 22:15
It’s 3:00 A.M. and Goldie wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. “Morris, why can’t you sleep?” she asks him.
“You know our next door neighbor, Sam. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it’s due tomorrow morning and I don’t have the money. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Morris replies.
Goldie gets out of bed and opens the window. “Sam!” she shouts, and several times more, “Sam! Sam!”
Finally a very groggy Sam opens the window opposite her and yells back, “What, what is it? It’s 3 AM, what do you want?”
Goldie says, “You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn’t have it.”
She then slams the window shut and turns to Morris and says, “Now you go to sleep and let Sam pace the floor.”
Wednesday 17/10/2007, 23:12
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
